woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize