I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
