Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
