you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
