btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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