Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
