There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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