WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
