What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
