We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
