Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
