sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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