Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.

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  (508): i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer. http://tfl.nu/xz6n
  Replies (24) Good night (2305) Bad night (570)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.

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  (336): Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see. http://tfl.nu/n17o
  Replies (13) Good night (785) Bad night (2514)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark

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  (206): I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark http://tfl.nu/8yek
  Replies (50) Good night (3649) Bad night (1064)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport

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  (313): awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport http://tfl.nu/bmz0
  Replies (25) Good night (4940) Bad night (659)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.

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  (407): I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on. http://tfl.nu/fzv2
  Replies (20) Good night (920) Bad night (3220)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.

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  (508): Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well. http://tfl.nu/uja4
  Replies (56) Good night (999) Bad night (4922)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  No subtext here. People are naked.

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  (612): No subtext here. People are naked. http://tfl.nu/tn4y
  Replies (7) Good night (4134) Bad night (679)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?

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  (206): How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it? http://tfl.nu/31c7
  Replies (23) Good night (2911) Bad night (1705)
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  (714): View more from California

  A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.

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  (714): A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now. http://tfl.nu/19el
  Replies (8) Good night (1507) Bad night (782)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes

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  (716): The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes http://tfl.nu/9ioy
  Replies (2) Good night (1086) Bad night (313)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!

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  (601): This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK! http://tfl.nu/gkpr
  Replies (11) Good night (1295) Bad night (544)
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  (916): View more from California

  I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka

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  (916): I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka http://tfl.nu/57f9
  Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (320)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.

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  (520): Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today. http://tfl.nu/5rxw
  Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (238)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her

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  (306): I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her http://tfl.nu/gvy3
  Replies (6) Good night (502) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.

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  (516): He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP. http://tfl.nu/qa9j
  Replies (0) Good night (167) Bad night (412)

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