He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?