i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.