remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"