Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna http://tfl.nu/isgx

Replies (7) Good night (1757) Bad night (2573)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/h5lf

Replies (12) Good night (550) Bad night (3274)
Favorite
(312): View more from Illinois

i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(312): i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it http://tfl.nu/tzqh

Replies (92) Good night (7421) Bad night (2003)
Favorite
(769): View more from Mississippi

she said she likes her vagina punished

(1-769): View more from Mississippi

being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(769): she said she likes her vagina punished (1-769): being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough http://tfl.nu/ts79

Replies (35) Good night (1794) Bad night (7122)
Favorite
(636): View more from Missouri

Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(636): Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later? http://tfl.nu/o4ww

Replies (19) Good night (1237) Bad night (4647)
Favorite
(250): View more from British Columbia

you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(250): you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday". http://tfl.nu/bzic

Replies (8) Good night (7208) Bad night (977)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years. http://tfl.nu/naiq

Replies (5) Good night (2977) Bad night (872)
Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/mm2g

Replies (7) Good night (2157) Bad night (690)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am. http://tfl.nu/layb

Replies (6) Good night (1894) Bad night (585)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won http://tfl.nu/r5as

Replies (6) Good night (3518) Bad night (690)
Favorite
(908): View more from New Jersey

P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(908): P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed. http://tfl.nu/fp9c

Replies (6) Good night (1386) Bad night (455)
Favorite
(785): View more from Kansas

Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(785): Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right? http://tfl.nu/9mi0

Replies (18) Good night (2087) Bad night (489)
Favorite
(647): View more from Ontario

Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(647): Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward http://tfl.nu/5pol

Replies (7) Good night (1371) Bad night (615)
Favorite
(765): View more from Indiana

If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(765): If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself. http://tfl.nu/9sig

Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (199)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women. http://tfl.nu/y0qe

Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (746)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: