I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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