My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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