I just made out with a guy for $7.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
