THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
