never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
