If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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