yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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