This girl is more easily done than said...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
