The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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