I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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