fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize