Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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