Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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