So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
