Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
