I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
