Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
