He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
