Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
