so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
