no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
