honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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