I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I will pee on everything he values.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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