I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
