Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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