I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
