I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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