i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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