Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
