I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
