dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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