I looked at my own cervix.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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