so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
