I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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