hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
