the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize