fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
