It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
