So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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