bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
