try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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