return my video game
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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