Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
