Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
