i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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