i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
