Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize