She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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