I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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