He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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